Life is for Living: Stop Future Tripping
Ferris Bueller, youāre my hero.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. ā Ferris Bueller
āI just got the promotion, can I slow down now?ā my client, a software engineer, asked. Even in asking, she wasnāt sure if she could slow down or if she even wanted to. She was always so busy with her day-to-day: crossing off her to-dos, thinking about when to pick up the kids, what other errands had to be done, and so focused on achieving her next career milestone that by the time she got promoted she genuinely didnāt know.
If instead, she had stopped to look around she might have noticed a big ole sign that said, āyes, youāre an engineer, but youāre also a writer.ā
You might be future tripping ifā¦
Future tripping is the act of spending an excessive amount of time considering events and outcomes that have yet to happen. Sometimes we have the power to impact these future events but in reality, we often do not. We can spend a lot of time trying to plan for and control a situation that in reality is out of control. Or, as AndrĆ© 3000 so elegantly put it, āyou can plan a pretty picnic, but you canāt predict the weather.ā
In addition to the anxiety and overwhelm that commonly accompany future tripping, the real bummer is that by being constantly focused on what might happen in the future, we miss out on the richness of the present.
Wherever we go, there we are.
We future trip, of course, because weāre imagining or positioning for an ideal future state. Weāre mentally living in a future thatās oh so much better than the present. But often what happens is that by keeping our eyes on the future, we unintentionally devalue what we have right now.
I was recently tipped off to this poem that just nails it:
Excerpt of āProductivity Anxietyā from Rupi Kaur, Home Body. Link to full poem.
Life is for living: balancing the future with the present
As a former event planner, future tripping is a mud pit that I often find myself wallowing in. I think āif I could only plan for every contingency, things will work out.ā (Spoiler: not so much.) āBut,ā I can hear you saying, āwhat about times when I really do need to think about the future?ā Iād say: like much in life, itās about balance.
An example: Iām planning a Spring Break trip with my mom, sister, and four feisty nieces/nephew. Sure Iād like to have the hotel and rental car booked or else the seven of us might arrive finding ourselves stranded and huddling in a dank airport hotel room (but, honestly, probably notā¦ weāre often so much more resourceful than we imagine.) But in my effort to squeeze more juice from my future, I forget that itās much less ripe for squeezing compared to the present.
Case in point, on a recent call with my sister, I was feeling annoyed that we were moving on from finalizing trip details to discussing our family situations and lives. Catching myself in the moment, luckily I was able to remind myself of my intention for the trip: to connect in a meaningful way with my sister and family. Exactly what was happening as I caught myself being annoyed that we werenāt confirming rental car pickup times.
So, yes, go ahead and plan the hotel, plan the rental car. But keep future tripping in balance with your intention, your values, and the much more juicy present.
In conclusion: youāre already there.
āIām already a writer. Right now.ā My software engineer client caught herself future tripping ābecomingā that writer. She recognized that although she hadnāt published her book, gone on her global book tour, or even had yet to publish a single article, she was already living her dream. She was writing. She was a writer - right now - and she didnāt have to wait until she had more traditional trappings to enjoy it. Note to self: Iām a sister now, I donāt have to wait until Spring Break to enjoy connecting.
In conclusion, much of the future is out of our control; the present is not. By being more mindful of the present, our values, and intentions, we can create a more supportive life balance and free ourselves from a lot of worry and anxiety in the process.
